Life List, con't

Well, spring is finally here--well, Spring Term, at least (Utah is still snowing)--and it seems like a good time to come up with more goals, and knock some of these off the list.

I realized that, while i do have some more immediate goals, many of the goals I have are very long-term, and difficult to relate to my day-to-day life.

• Watch movie in IMax and/or 3D-- A friend of mine took me on a midnight date to Tron in 3-D. It was awesome. Still working on IMax.
  
• Take a chemistry class--eventually (as mentioned previously) this will happen. No current application (other than not dying).
  
• Take a calculus class--This one is still up in the air.
  
• Swing dance well--My roommate and I decided to start going to Swing Club. I may end up ditching in favor of hip-hop. We'll see.
  
• Successfully perform a scat solo--Passively working on this. Ears still aren't the greatest. My vocal range, however, has increased significantly. Low D (in the bass clef) to a high A (Above the treble staff) on a typical day. C to C to C on a really good day. (Working toward that being the norm)
  
• Run a 5K--time down to 29 minutes. Still working on this.
  
• Read the Wheel of Time series--next one doesn't come out til this Fall. Sigh. So, doing all I can to make time for it.
  
• Read The Screwtape Letters--Very, very good. Nearly finished.
  
• Read the Book of Mormon in another language--Nope, not yet. Long-term goal.
  
• Read Dante's Divine Comedy--I found an audiobook version that will let me listen to it while I'm at work. I hope that counts.
  
• Play Ultimate Frisbee--So, turns out my new roommate LOVES playing Frisbee and she said she would teach me. Awesome.
  
• Play the Ric (well)--mmmmmmm...nope. I need to acquire one of these. Maybe for my birthday.
  
• Play the piano: hymns, jazz--not yet
  
• Play the Harmonica: Bb Blues--working on this, though I'm mostly on my C harp (s).
  
• Play the Guitar--still plunking along. Taking my guitar in to be fixed next week, inShu'allah.
  
• Play Slide Trombone--not yet. Though I wouldn't be opposed to some embouchure exercises sometime soon-ish...
  
• Play French Horn--see above
  
• Perform "Dress Has Always Been my Strongest Suit," from Aida--My OTHER roommate is a theatre person and took soprano vocal lessons, focusing on belting, last year. She said she would help with my technique. Awesome.
  
• Own a pet dog-- long-term
  
• Own a house, with LAND--LONG-term
• Memorize 314 digits of pi--I found this awesome site that has the first 50 digits of pi read in a lot of different ways, which is awesome, and i also found this insomnia recording of the first 1000 digits of pi. I will also be using these while at work.
  
• Manage finances very well--first finance lesson next Saturday at 7pm
  
• Make Creme brulee--have a creme brulee making kit sitting in my kitchen, waiting for some adventurous souls.
  
• Make a blouse--registered for a sewing class for Summer 2011
  
• Learn to Knit--the first rommate I mentioned (the frisbee one) also knows how to knit. I teach her crochet, she teaches me knit. So excited.
  
• Learn to cook Indian food--not yet
  
• Learn to cook Chinese food--not yet, but the second roommate I mentioned (the soprano belter) also lived in Taiwan for a few years, and she is going to teach me to make deliciousness.
  
• Learn as many folk songs as possible--working on that.
  
• Language: Spanish--o.o
• Language: RussianO.O
• Language: Italian O.O
  
• Language: Hebrew O.O
• Language: Greek O.O
  
• Language: ASL O.O
  
• Language: Arabic (O). (O) Oh dear. Well, I'm currently working on this. I downloaded an Arabic primer to my computer and practice pronunciation with it. My downstairs neighbor/RS prez also needs to practice her Arabic, so we agreed to work on it together. Vaguely. We haven't set a time or anything yet.
  
• Kiss in the rain :-)--remember that aforementioned embouchure practice? Though I'll have to wait for it to warm up enough, otherwise it would be snow...
  
• Hike the Y--planned to go; hike cancelled due to inclement weather. AKA snow. In April. Lame.
  
• Have a picnic in a random spot on campus--haven't found anyone cool enough to go with yet.
  
• Have a LOT of children-- Long-term. Few pre-reqs to this. Though I am trying to be healthier, eat healthier, learn good Mom skills, and figure out finance habits that will allow me to take CARE of so many children. This is kind of the end goal of all of these other goals. [Contrary to popular belief, awesomeness is not a goal. It is simply a way of life.]
  
• Graduate with a bachelor's degree--school full-time, year-round,baby! w00t! Don't die!
  
• Go to Yellowstone--not yet
  
• Go to the Middle East--long-term
• Go to Thanksgiving Point Gardens-- I did go to Thanksgiving Point for the first time, but it wasn't to the Gardens-- it was to pick up a sweatshirt that a friend of mine forgot there when he went to the museum. So. Baby steps.
  
• Go to New York--Long-term
• Go to a beach--sigh. Not yet.
  
• Go on a mission--Long term
  
• Go east of the Mississippi River--long-term
• Get married--hmm. It'll happen.
  
• Crochet Professionally--I'm working on my Associate Professional paperwork for the Crochet Guild of America; I'm also working on my Master's of Craft certificate through the guild. I am working on obtaining a business license for Bina's Bazaar and setting up a Facebook storefront. I also applied to work for Stitch Diva, based in Vegas. So. We'll see how it all pans out.
  
• Be debt-free--yeah, right. Long-term. Though I am working on a financial plan.
  

So, there's the list. There are the updates. I think I need some more short-ish term goals. I'm also working on kicking my allergies and getting my health back under control, and that takes quite a bit of mental/physical energy. But, I feel like I should make some more goals that are more immediate rather than semi- or really-long term. I'm almost to the end of many of my immediate goals.

Any suggestions for new ones?

Blog Title

Some people have inquired as to where the name of my blog came from.

Well, let me tell you.

It come from a poem I used to relate to quite well, called "We Wear the Mask." Here is the text:

We Wear the Mask

WE wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!

--Paul Laurence Dunbar

I haven't felt that way in a long time. Until this afternoon. So, in light of that feeling and the recent inquiries regarding my title, I figured I would post it.

Life List

Well, I haven't written in a while, but I thought I'd give an update on that life list on the side of my profile. It is, of course, an incomplete list, however, it's a start.

Read the Wheel of Time series: I have read all the WoT books that have come out; the last one comes out this fall. So, well on my way on that one.

Read The Screwtape Letters: I'm in the middle of it. I love it! Highly recommend it.

Play Guitar: Also, I took a guitar class last semester. Still a beginner, but I can plunk out some good christmas songs, folks songs, a lot of pop/mild rock/country. Definitely rhythm guitar, no food at finger picking yet. But again, getting there.

Run a 5K: I got my 5K time down to 30 min flat on a consistent basis. I'm working on some interval/hill training; I want to run a 5K "race" this July. If that doesn't work, I'm for sure doing the Rex Lee run next year. I want to do something before that, though.

Language--Spanish: I actually had to translate a bunch of crochet patterns into Spanish. It doesn't count as speaking Spanish, nor did I even DO most of the actual translating (mostly editing) but I've been working on reading comprehension. Honestly, I think it would just be easier to marry one of the (plethora of) returned missionaries who speaks Spanish well, and who wants to continue doing so. More constant exposure to the language would really help. ("Hi, my name's Sabina. Where did you serve? [85.7364912% chance of a Spanish speaking mission inserted here ] Great! Will you marry me? I need to work on my Spanish...")

Language-- Arabic: This semester, I've been reviewing the Arabic I've already been taught. I'm still not very versed, and my handwriting is AWFUL, but I was able to have a small-talk conversation with a guy in my Isaiah class. He teaches Arabic at a high school nearby or something. He thought I'd just gotten back from Egypt. <---^_^ I explained that I didn't know much vocabulary past what we'd already covered in our conversation. But I was still happy. I WILL learn that language someday. (No Arabic-speaking missions yet).

Going to the Middle East: Delayed; probably won't happen till I'm much older. I'm keeping up fairly well with events over there, though. As much as I can, anyway. Someday there will be a mission opened up over there, and I want to be involved somehow. Maybe my sons will go over there...?? That would be WAY cool.

Going on a mission: Also delayed; probably won't go until I go with my husband later. It's GOING to happen, just not right now in my life. But I'm so excited for it, anyway!!! I think it would be fun to be a mission mom. I think I could do it. We'll see what the Lord has in store.

Graduating with a Bachelor's degree: also delayed. I'm still in school, but due to some major requirements/changes, it will be a while. Sigh. But I have a real-person (ish) job already, so.... Not exactly what I anticipated my life course being, but hey. Just keep truckin, right? But because of/assisting to cause this delay, another one of my life goals will be realized:

Take a chemistry class: Surprise! Not only one, but THREE chemistry classes. And for some chem majors out there, that's cake. For me, it literally is-- I am required to take a laboratory Food Science class (lecture&lab). That sounds like a lot of fun. The kicker is the pre-req: I get to take O-CHEM!! w00t! And because I've never taken a single chemistry class in my whole life, I also get to take Basic Chemistry (so I don't die going straight into O-Chem). I'm excited, but a little...wary. I'm sure I'll be fine. It just makes me tired even thinking about it.

So basically, I'll be chillin here in Provo a little longer than I thought. Not that that's a bad thing-- I really like it here. I love school, though sometimes I have to remind myself of it. Besides, the extension happened when I was looking at post-college school options (grad school, culinary school, cosmetology school), so I would have been in school another few years anyway. And this is a lot cheaper. And I'm excited to be able to teach!!! That'll be cool.

So, everything is definitely going according to a plan, it just wasn't the plan I'd anticipated.


This semester has been CRAZY; I'll update later. Right now I need to get back to work.

Weekend

Note sent to me, after Ward Prayer, on Sunday night:

"You may think we don't realize, but I know that you are an undercover superhero. Keep up the awesome."

Well, thank you, for totally making my day.

Also, I had a really good weekend. I got to perform once again with the amazing Jason Lyle Black. Yes, the backwards-piano, I'm-just-as-or-more-amazing-then-John-Schmidt guy. [If you don't know who I'm talking about, his website, http://www.jasonlyleblack.com/ , will inform you and generally enrich your life].

We did an arrangement of "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel" and "God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen," using a cajon, a djembe, claves, egg shakers, and the piano, and our voices. We started on a unison (male octave--I used my man-voice), Gregorian-style "O, Come," then split to two parts and added a mild rock beat and a chime part in the piano. the next verse was a heavier rock beat, full piano, and Sabina used her woman voice, soaring out over the top of a VERY rich sound. Everyone dropped out at the end of the verse except the shakers, then we added the drums in a fast mambo beat, and Mr. Black took off in a rousing rendition of "God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen." We then moved back into a rock and traded fours, (even the claves), with some crazy, high-energy, high-groove drumming, and Mr. Black goofing off on the piano (his fours/eights sets included not only Christmas songs like Jingle Bells, but also Eye of the Tiger, Billy Jean, and Lady Gaga's "Poker Face"). Then, Jason's last set moved back into "O Come" and the voices added in at the "Rejoice!" section. We had a huge ending (of course) and I honestly thought Nate would put a hole in the cajon he was playing.

It was marvelous.

Also, for the record, I looked awesome, in a gorgeous red formal with beaded roses down the front, and a black velvet jacket. *loves* Also, my roommate straightened my hair, and I wore some fancy perfume. It was fun to remind myself that I like being a girl. I was in the performing group with four good-looking men wearing suits and red ties, which made it even more awesome. And, that it was fairly uncoordinated.

I also got together with two of my cousins on Sunday and made Cardamon Braid and talked about life. It was wonderful.

Songs of the Heart

Songs are very interesting things. Many people talk about having a "theme song," and I don't know how well I agree with that idea. There are, however, many songs that, taken apart or together, mean a lot to me in my life. Here are some of those:

Life songs--Pictures of Sabina
Beautifully, Jay Brennan
This Is a Call, Thousand Foot Crutch
Break Away, Kelly Clarkson
Smile, Nat King Cole
Songs Sung Blue, Neil Diamond
Dancin' With Myself, Billy Idol
Fighter, Christina Aguilera
In the Middle, Jimmy Eat World
Master, the Tempest is Raging, LDS Hymnbook
Be Still, My Soul, VocalPoint

Make Me Happy Songs
Wild Montana Skies, John Denver
The Impression That I Get, The Bosstones

Wishful Thinking and Good Memories
Night And Day, Ella Fitzgerald
Hero-Enrique Inglesias
Lullaby (Goodnight, My Angel), Billy Joel
I Just Called To Say I Love You, Stevie Wonder
Hard Habit to Break, Chicago
Pop! Goes My Heart, Hugh Grant
DJs Got Us Fallin In Love, Usher
All the Right Moves, One Republic
Hey There, Delilah, Plain White Ts
I Don't Want to Miss a Thing, Aerosmith



Also:

As long as you keep getting born, it's alright to die some times. ~Orson Scott Card

"God would like us to be joyful...

...even when our hearts lie panting on the floor." --Tevye

I have been ridiculously sensitive lately. I guess I just get on overload, and instead of shutting down, I get sensitive. There have been times this last little while that I have felt (sometimes literally) that my heart is lying 'panting on the floor,' as Tevye sings in the musical, Fiddler on the Roof. It'll all work out. Like Harvey Dent reminds us, in The Dark Knight: "The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you-- the dawn IS coming."
I know it is. And life will get harder, but that's okay. The Lord will help us do hard things.
.
.
.


Okay, so Miss Always and Boy Who Smiles are sitting on the couch across from me, and Miss Always is ATTEMPTING to instruct Boy Who Smiles on how to properly play with a woman's hair. She is trying to make it clear that playing with a girl's hair is done differently than playing with a boy's hair. It's true. I think he's finally getting it, but it's still not quite natural. Also, he is lucky that Miss Always almost always wears her hair down and straight, because one plays with curly hair differently than one plays with "long, luscious locks" such as hers.

I miss people playing with my hair. Back in the day when I actually took the time to do my hair in the morning, Star would play with it.

Speaking about the days when I would actually do my hair: the other day, I was at He Who Eats My Food's house. He and his roommates (together known as the Lost Boys) were checking out the girls in the ward via the ward directory (um. well. More on that later). They decided that my roommate Burger has the prettiest hair in the ward. As I processed this, it actually made me really happy, because a few days earlier while she was doing my hair, Burger told me my hair was just like hers! Which it is, when I actually take the time to do it in the morning. It looked better when it was longer--much better-- but it is easier to take care of when it's shorter. So, in my I'm-going-to-take-everything-as-a-compliment mind, I decided that since Burger said my hair is just like hers (and it wasn't just me thinking so) and the boys think Burger's hair is the prettiest in the ward, then I have really pretty hair, too! Even though I'm lazy and don't do much with it. Also, someone (the week prior to the Burger-hair conversation) told me that when I take time do do my makeup and outfits like Cheesecake Girl, I look really good. So, the moral of the story is, if I wasn't such a lazy bum, I have the potential to be attractive. ^_^ I was quite pleased.

Speaking of me being a lazy bum, I slept most of the day today. I was up for about an hour in the middle of the day-- enough for correspondence and for a friend to pick up my overdue library books. I then slept until 4:30, when Miss Adorable helped me get up and move all my arm muscles around. My visiting teacher brought me dinner, which was delicious! I felt bad, because she at first asked if she could eat with me, and I answered that I was really tired (thinking I probably wouldn't eat right then). I was still a little asleep I think, but then I woke up and realized (a) it was time to take meds and (b) I was SUPER hungry. So I rescinded my statement and we had quite and enjoyable dinner. I stayed awake afterward, kind of, and watched an episode of TV on Hulu and browsed Netflix. There were quite a few people in and out after that, including a fun visit from my home teachers. (PS, I have extremely attractive home teachers.)

I have an appointment tomorrow, which I hope will help me get some things straightened out. I NEED to be able to do my homework; right now that isn't working so well. :-/ I feel so lost. I have no idea where November even went. o.o No good! It's amazing how closely your body, mind, and spirit work together. When the body isn't feeling well, often I find it drags my brain down. That is mish qwayiss--in a college setting, especially. And I have Christmas gifts to finish!! Bah. I am excited about those, though.

It's nice to know I have so many supportive friends to help me out and love me. It's hard for me to accept help; I guess I'm being compelled to at this point. I know I'll be taken care of. I just wish that I could remember that I know that all the time. I don't get scared easily, but I do get a little down. I suppose that's because I am confident (so I don't get scared much) but impatient (so I forget). Maybe that's why one of the most repeated words in the scriptures is "remember."
That's all I have to do.

Remember.

Hot Chocolate

Many people have asked for my hot chocolate recipe. The answer is, I don't have one. But here is a basic approximation.

Hot Chocolate:

Butter-- I used a quarterish cup and a little bit. Melt this over med high heat.
Sugar-- add this to butter. I used halfish cup; don't put too much in at the beginning, add it to taste throughout.
Cocoa Powder-- add this to butter/sugar. I like chocolate darker, so I added a handful. This is just baking cocoa. I actually used Dutch cocoa this last time and it was SO GOOD.
Cream-- add a cup of cream to the fudge base. turn down the heat on the stove so you don't burn the mixture.

simmer this for about 5 minutes, add some milk (you'll want quite a bit, the base is pretty strong) and water to taste (this is the final cocoa drink). Heat through and serve.
Refrigerate any leftovers.

Om nom.