Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Once Upon a Time

I don't know what I'm going to do. I decided I'm going to keep a "large plate" version online, and m "small plates" in my new journal.

Dear World,

I have a normal layer of my life.

Love Sabina.

Here you go:

I'm pretty uptight about school. I don't think I would be that uptight if my room was clean, my laundry done, grocery shopping done, caught up at work, etc. I need to organize my time better.

Work is stressful. I have quick deadlines that seem fairly arbitrary. I'm trying to TA 10 classes on my own. Yes, it's mostly grading papers, bu when most of those classes turn in a short paper every day, it gets hectic, especially when you add quizzes and exams and projects to grade on top of it. Sigh. Plus library research and copying stuff and finding things online.

PS there's a guy in my class that just asked a random girl on a date. Funny funny funny. He's an interesting character. Oh sad, she said no. :( Poor guy.

Speaking of guys asking people on dates....I is confused. I like having friends, but waking up from my Time of Numb has me a little emotionally mixed up. Mr. Ensign...poor kid. He's so confused. I don't like that he reminds me so much of the fellows from 104. It sets me off sometimes, because I miss them but they don't talk to me anymore. So having him around all the time is confusing me emotionally. It's not his fault at all, but I was crying about it the other night. It's that waking up that part of my emotions wakes up everything else. So, it's not his fault, but technically he started me crying. He's so awesome though!! i love that kid. I think we will be great friends. I worry that he spends all of his time listening to other people's problems, and never verbalizes his own. He's such a loving person, and very selfless. I need to clarify things, and not be such a jerk. He sucks up his awkward situations, I just need to get over mine.

Speaking of loving, selfless men, I think that Mr. Over and PE1 are amazing folks. I don't think I like PE1s nickname, but w/e. They are fun fellows, and I think I should like to get to know them much better than I do now. It's great to be in an area with so many amazing folks. Also, extremely attractve. It's fun having attractive friends. The attractive guys hang around, attractive girls hang around, and that inherently attracts more attractive people. Getting them together for parties is great fun, and I get to play the frumpy-grandma-matchmaker hostess. I'll be really good at that the rest of my life, I think. I just want a particular attractive person to notice that I'm also single and can sometimes even be cute! I like having people know me better. Not even dating-- he's just a generally intriguing person.

I need to do my laundry tonight.

Also-- I get really jealous when people that have no particular interest in the Middle East, nor do they have any major requirements, nor do they have any language experience decide to go on a Study Abroad to the Jerusalem Center. It's like kids that have no rhythm that own drum sets. ---_______----- Sabina is not pleased. Even worse are the kids that don't want to go, but their parents are making them. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO ANNOYING!!! I have wanted to go to the Middle East for years and ears and years and I don't get to go and you don't even care and you are going RIGHT NOW. >:-[ Sigh. I have this pocket of immaturity that comes out in full force in situations like that.

In other news, my cooking class requires me to follow recipes **carefully**, and actually measure things **properly**even for things like White Sauce or Cheese Bread topping or Fruit Dip. I use recipes as guidelines, more than actual rules, and I hardly measure things at ALL, mush less carefully. It is one of the most frustrating things I've ever experienced. I folow recipes when I'm in unfamiliar territory or I know the chemistry make a difference, like in candies or baking. But stovetop cooking? Toppings? Sauces? Dips? Seriously?!! My poor roommates get to listen to me complain the whole time.

And....I need to go write a paper. I will now go post this and get ready for my marching band concert.