Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Just saw Sister Jamilee Lords off on her mission to Cape Verde. So excited for her! It got me thinking about my future again. Since the last time us girls had gotten together, Story has had a baby, Amanda got married, Jamilee got her mission call and essentially engaged--Jeff's waiting for her and she has a ring on her finger--and I've got...a haircut.
Sometimes I feel like I'm running as hard as a can...on a hamster wheel. I'm just not going anywhere. Then I realize a better analogy is probably more like revving the engine of a car. Using tons of fuel and making noise, but not actually moving. I feel the tension though. I know life is going to move forward quickly, and I'm grateful for the preparation time the Lord has given me.
I need to focus. I need to remain diligent. I need to be confident in the progression I can make in school and toward motherhood.
Also, I love this campus. I love the people I've come in contact with, I love the opportunities presented to me, I love the gardens and the architecture and the friends and the boys and the languages and the art and the guitars and the dinner group and the porch swing at my house. I also know that I will love wherever I am just as much as I love it here. I wish I was a better student. I'm working on it, as I am working on many things. The most important thing here is to learn how to learn. There are things I will need to know and experiences I need to have in order to fulfill my mission here.
I wish I had greater skill, more time, and greater confidence, particularly when it comes to dating. I am an awesome person, I'm going to make a dang good wife and an amazing mother. Might even make a decent girlfriend again. Issue is, I need to A) work on my "PR" 2)Make my outer image match more closely with who I actually am and C)stop falling for guys who are leaving and/or completely not interested! Gaah! Why do I do this to myself? *dramatic sigh*
I'm so excited for my new goals. Wish I had some more time in the semester to make them happen, but life doesn't end with the school year.
I love my friends. I am so blessed to have them in my life. I seriously live the high life--money to buy healthy food, a good house, the Gospel, good friends, good family, a computer, a phone, a membership at a gym (LOVE!), awesome hair, great classes at an excellent university, drum line, and a plethora of talents and abilities that will get me through this life with as much joy as heavenly possible. The Lord has blessed me so much.