Monday, February 10, 2014


Crazy couple weeks, but I'm settling back into/into a new standard routine.

I decided that rather than simply focusing on things I was good at, I would take some "thorns in my side" ('I don't play piano because...', 'I'm not a songwriter because...', 'I can't learn how to dance like that, because...', etc) and work on whittling them down to size, with the intent of tossing them out all together. I haven't even TRIED many of those things. Which is dumb! No more saying "I'm not" or "I can't" do things I want to until I've actually tried them. So, update!

So, I signed up for a Songwriting class via the Berklee's College of Music. Songwriting is a super fun class, and helpful in all my creative endeavors--poetry, songs, recipes, organization and interior design, sculpture, cake decorating, food plating, and eventually drawing (haven't gotten there yet). I absolutely love it! 

I'm taking a nutrition class. Also fabulous. 

I'm ALMOST finished with Baking II, I just have puff pastry, choux paste swans, and a some paperwork between me and Advanced Bakery III: Classical and Modern Gateaux and Tortes. 

ALMOST finished with Culinary II--3 dishes and GOBS of paperwork (including finding some of the pictures) between me and Culinary III: Beef, Pork, Lamb, and Special Diets. 

Yay, paperwork.
(Seriously, though, I need to keep up with that better. Not my favorite part....but necessary. And more obnoxious when there are piles of it to be done.)

So that's official classes. Update on Other Stuff!

--I called my friend and arranged to rent her full sized keyboard. It will fit in my room pretty well, I think, and I'm very excited. I pick it up tomorrow evening. 

--I decided to re-do the Personal Progress booklet from the Young Women's program. The new book has some different goals in it, and a whole new value (Virtue), and I think it will provide some really good focus to my personal scripture study and development. 

--I bought my first set of temple clothes, and my dress is really pretty. Also, I bought a basic bag to put it all in, and the bag is a very pretty purple-y maroon color ironically but accurately named "Merlot." I greatly appreciate the irony in naming a temple bag after a variety of wine. That might have been part of why I bought that particular bag. ;-) 

--I realized that, even after my dessert attempts and other tasks, I still have almost 15 pounds of pears sitting on my table, ready to be cooked. Combine that with the half peck of apples, the bowl of meyer lemons, the three sections of gingerroot, and the grapefruit ALSO sitting on my table....I have much fruit preservation in my very near future. Which is totally fine. I'm going to buy some jam jars this evening after I get my homework done. 

Speaking of homework, gotta get back to it. Here's to blasting preconceived self-notions to metaphorical smithereens!  

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Stay-At-Home Mom

I did not go to work today. But, today was full of work. 
Today I have made a pizza, some muffins, and a hat.
Also I made changes, friendships, rest, and thoughts, and also
I ran errands. So many

I also worried about money, and time, and health, and family, and boys.
Well, boy
or rather
the thought that I am loved by someone, and how foreign
that idea still seems to me.
But He says it is so. So it must be.

I ponder such a curious idea, as I change her clothes, and help her with
the most basic of needs
and cheer her on when she takes a few steps in a row--
and then I adjust her oxygen tank so she can

I sleep early, and wake up when I hear her
crying. I wake her up completely; she can sleep again
but only after
pills water blanket nightlight
oxygen tank
and a video clip of her grandchildren
sending their love.

I tuck her in, return to my chair. I lean back,
blanket around my shoulders. I start to dream of
tasks, and chores, and errands and work and     school
as the whirring of the compressor
lulls me back to sleep.