...even when our hearts lie panting on the floor." --Tevye
I have been ridiculously sensitive lately. I guess I just get on overload, and instead of shutting down, I get sensitive. There have been times this last little while that I have felt (sometimes literally) that my heart is lying 'panting on the floor,' as Tevye sings in the musical, Fiddler on the Roof. It'll all work out. Like Harvey Dent reminds us, in The Dark Knight: "The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you-- the dawn IS coming."
I know it is. And life will get harder, but that's okay. The Lord will help us do hard things.
.
.
.
Okay, so Miss Always and Boy Who Smiles are sitting on the couch across from me, and Miss Always is ATTEMPTING to instruct Boy Who Smiles on how to properly play with a woman's hair. She is trying to make it clear that playing with a girl's hair is done differently than playing with a boy's hair. It's true. I think he's finally getting it, but it's still not quite natural. Also, he is lucky that Miss Always almost always wears her hair down and straight, because one plays with curly hair differently than one plays with "long, luscious locks" such as hers.
I miss people playing with my hair. Back in the day when I actually took the time to do my hair in the morning, Star would play with it.
Speaking about the days when I would actually do my hair: the other day, I was at He Who Eats My Food's house. He and his roommates (together known as the Lost Boys) were checking out the girls in the ward via the ward directory (um. well. More on that later). They decided that my roommate Burger has the prettiest hair in the ward. As I processed this, it actually made me really happy, because a few days earlier while she was doing my hair, Burger told me my hair was just like hers! Which it is, when I actually take the time to do it in the morning. It looked better when it was longer--much better-- but it is easier to take care of when it's shorter. So, in my I'm-going-to-take-everything-as-a-compliment mind, I decided that since Burger said my hair is just like hers (and it wasn't just me thinking so) and the boys think Burger's hair is the prettiest in the ward, then I have really pretty hair, too! Even though I'm lazy and don't do much with it. Also, someone (the week prior to the Burger-hair conversation) told me that when I take time do do my makeup and outfits like Cheesecake Girl, I look really good. So, the moral of the story is, if I wasn't such a lazy bum, I have the potential to be attractive. ^_^ I was quite pleased.
Speaking of me being a lazy bum, I slept most of the day today. I was up for about an hour in the middle of the day-- enough for correspondence and for a friend to pick up my overdue library books. I then slept until 4:30, when Miss Adorable helped me get up and move all my arm muscles around. My visiting teacher brought me dinner, which was delicious! I felt bad, because she at first asked if she could eat with me, and I answered that I was really tired (thinking I probably wouldn't eat right then). I was still a little asleep I think, but then I woke up and realized (a) it was time to take meds and (b) I was SUPER hungry. So I rescinded my statement and we had quite and enjoyable dinner. I stayed awake afterward, kind of, and watched an episode of TV on Hulu and browsed Netflix. There were quite a few people in and out after that, including a fun visit from my home teachers. (PS, I have extremely attractive home teachers.)
I have an appointment tomorrow, which I hope will help me get some things straightened out. I NEED to be able to do my homework; right now that isn't working so well. :-/ I feel so lost. I have no idea where November even went. o.o No good! It's amazing how closely your body, mind, and spirit work together. When the body isn't feeling well, often I find it drags my brain down. That is mish qwayiss--in a college setting, especially. And I have Christmas gifts to finish!! Bah. I am excited about those, though.
It's nice to know I have so many supportive friends to help me out and love me. It's hard for me to accept help; I guess I'm being compelled to at this point. I know I'll be taken care of. I just wish that I could remember that I know that all the time. I don't get scared easily, but I do get a little down. I suppose that's because I am confident (so I don't get scared much) but impatient (so I forget). Maybe that's why one of the most repeated words in the scriptures is "remember."
That's all I have to do.
Remember.
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