Sunday, February 17, 2013

half-discovered self discovery...to be continued.

I've found something I enjoy even more than cooking!!

O.O   K, guys, this is a big deal.

I realized that, even more than "cooking," I enjoy INGREDIENTS.

I love bottles of fine vinegar, jars of varietal and artisan honeys, ropes of dried chili peppers, packets of whole spice, pots of freshly growing herbs, drawers and cupboards and shelves full of sugars and vegetables and fine chocolate and flours and fruits and extracts and flavors.

I love preserving and bottling and drying and freezing.
....It's bizzare.

It's like, I garden and find/take care of trees so that I can have fruit/veggies/plants/herbs to dry/freeze/preserve/infuse into oil/extracts/concentrates/syrups. Part of me wants to own bees, just so I could get the honey (the other part of me remembers the stingers and the cost and the allergies).  And then I cook so I can use those things so that I can have an excuse to get more. It's actually a bit of a roadblock in cooking, and definitely in eating-- I think to myself "Hmmm, Self, I'm really hungry!" so I go to my fridge/cupboard/pantry. I look inside and see all these lovely ingredients. and I'm like "hm....but that would be so much tastier if I made it into this other thing...but I don't want to cook that right now....but I don't want to waste the yumminess on something sub-par....hmmm.....Goldfish crackers and a spoonful of peanut butter it is!!"

I miss having lots of people around that will eat my food. I don't like cooking for just one person! Mostly because that person is me--because by the time the food is done, I often don't even really want to eat it. Food needs an appreciative audience.
Or maybe it's just that I need an appreciative audience. Is that a bad thing?  I haven't decided yet.

Maybe I'll ponder it while I go make Almond/Vanilla Bean Sauce for these creme puffs....


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