Saturday, June 23, 2012

Zombie Apocalypse

So, when the zombie apocalypse finally arrives, I believe the women in my apartment will have very different reactions.  

Jules, sensibly, will grab some sort of weapon and hide somewhere, then figure out how to sneak out and run to safety. 

Shaylee would be with her fiance and wouldn't know about the attack until months later, when she finally returns to Provo.

Margaret, not surprisingly, would grab multiple weapons and start a crazy counter attack, ripping aforementioned monsters to pieces between bouts of maniacal laughter while shouting crazed Arabic battlecries. 

Sabina, however, would probably invite the zombies in, seat them graciously, offer them brownies and milk, and inquire about the nuances of their day. 

And by "probably," I mean, that's actually what happened. 


Well, let me 'splain.  

No, it is too much. 
Let me sum up. 

Well, first, I heard weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, just outside my door.
"Crazy neighbors," says I. 

Then the first body slams against my window.
I was, naturally, in the kitchen, and was therefore, naturally, holding a very large knife. 

It took me a moment to get my bearings, but then pieces started falling together...  
 I realized that the body was actually a zombie, trying to get in to my house. 
And then I realized that there were quite a few of them.

Any normal person would have held on to the knife and blocked the door. 
But I'm . . . me I set the knife down, opened the door, and told them that there were brownies. 
MOST of them, seeming a bit surprised (it's difficult to tell the emotions on a zombie face sometimes) grunted and moaned and screeched as they pushed pass, relatively politely, and headed over to the brownies.

A particularly bold zombie-man was a bit rogue-ish and decided I was a good meal, before dessert. >.< 

Therefore, I was temporarily distracted as the zombies infected my other late-night dinner guests (fortunately, there were only 2 others...unfortunately, they have a limited sense of loyalty, and didn't resist the attack too much. They seemed pretty okay with it. :eyeroll: Men.)

As I mentioned, one of the zombies was a bit rogue-ish;
The others, after easily zombify-ing my guests, seemed temporarily placated by the gooey chocolate goodness

But then they decided to eat me anyway. 

After trying to attack Margaret....
You can imagine how well THAT worked.
(See above description)
(Now add in a bit more colorful language than you imagined a moment ago)
(And a random Michael Jackson Zombie in a fedora)
(And then add zombies bursting into song--singing Jasmine's part of "A Whole New World")
(...and then Latin dancing to Michael Buble's "Sway")
(And then coming back upstairs for brownies
and eating Sabina instead)
Seriously.  I think I got bitten 4 times. At least. 
They decide brownies weren't good enough...

Full-on attack. Part of it, anyway.

Turns out the zombie apocalypse wasn't as bad as I'd anticipated. 
...I have the coolest friends. 


:cassia marie: said...

oh sabina. you and your wild adventures. :)

Robin said...

you have fun friends!